Navigating the Unseen Weight: Cultivating Courage to Request What We Truly Need

Recently, I engaged in a profound conversation with a client that unveiled a common thread connecting nearly every person who has sought my guidance. This client expressed that, although asking for what he wants appears ostensibly simple, it has burdened him immensely for years. In that moment, a metaphorical lightning bolt illuminated my understanding, revealing a pattern echoed in countless coaching conversations: the weight isn't in the act of requesting, but in the accumulation of unmet needs.

So, why does this burden persist?

When our emotions or experiences remain unresolved, we often misattribute the source of our discontent. Reflecting on my client consultations, I've observed that what individuals perceive as their core issue is frequently a superficial manifestation, not the true root. Each time we dismiss an unresolved concern, it's akin to sweeping it under the rug, adding another layer over the genuine problem.

In Month 1, we ignore the issue (adding a layer).

In Month 2, we ignore it again (another layer piled on).

This cycle continues, leading us to convince ourselves that our experiences are not aligned with the truth. We rationalize, creating a disconnect between our perceived problem and its actual core. Over time, this process gives rise to emotions like anger and apathy, leaving us puzzled about what we are truly upset about. After years of this layered process, pinpointing the core concern becomes challenging.

Returning to the theme of unmet needs, I'm not suggesting that asking for what we need and want is inherently easy. However, when we courageously confront the genuine fear underlying our requests (or any problem), we not only address the root cause but also open the door to healing.

Day by day, as we unravel the layers and acknowledge the true source of our concerns, asking for support or having our needs met becomes a progressively easier task. It's a transformative journey that liberates us from the weight of accumulated unmet needs, paving the way for genuine healing and growth.