5 Reasons Why Sometimes it Really Needs to be All About You

Putting others before ourselves is a learned behavior, as we have become accustom 

to believe, “Well, if I put their needs and wishes before my own, it’s a sign of 

character, growth and sacrifice that is needed for the betterment of the unit.” 

How many times have we fell hostage to this belief, only to find ourselves on the 

other side of resentment and buried anger, after our sacrifice did not work out for 

our personal well-being? 

I find that this is a larger concern for my clientele that are working moms, wives, 

and single women. For a greater portion of their lives, they watched their mothers 

create a world of betterment for them at the expense of their personal emotional, 

mental and spiritual health.  Under the guise of maternal sacrifice, “…because, it’s 

what us mom’s do…” they were taught. 

You were taught. 

In no way does this diminish or discredit the love we received and/or give, but 

could there be a better method in preserving your individual personhood, while 

allowing you to become an even better individual?

Sometimes, it really needs to be all about you because:

1.) We become better team players, when we learn how to become better 

individuals.  It’s an underutilized truth, that taking time to put your 

emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well being above all creates a more 

productive you – ultimately affecting the whole—while simultaneously 

teaching you how to establish healthy boundaries with others. 

2.) We become better teachers for others, especially our children. It’s not 

too sexy nowadays to be individuals within the new generation that is rising 

in groups, associations and crowds. When we are an example that takes pride 

in nurturing our complete self, it often times gives others courage to do the 

same. When we put our well-being first, our internal and physical light has a 

stronger sense of being—deeply rooted in making sure that we are offering 

our very best to ourselves—creating a domino effect of showcasing our best 

intentions with others. 

3.) We do not regret our decisions, later.  Deciding to put our well-being first 

creates responsibility. And, it’s responsibility that says, “I am responsible for 

my life.” As a co-creator of our life, this understanding places us in a seat of 

accountability and avoidance of blaming others for our choices. 

4.) We are in a better position to fulfill our purpose. When we are in tuned 

and fully committed to allowing our callings in life to be a first priority, not 

only does it allow us to stay on track and true to our path, it also gives us a 

true understanding that nothing—not a romantic relationship, children or 

anything that we view as an “obstacle” prevents us from fulfilling our life’s 

mission. Our relationships then, become gifts to cherish and appreciate. 

5.) We do not fall prey in becoming a victim to our circumstance. 

Classic story. Sarah takes care of her son while her boyfriend consistently 

puts gym, drinks and bro time ahead of her personal devotions in practicing 

yoga, getting that massage or attending the empowerment lecture that she’s 

been dying to experience. The cycle continues. Sarah thinks that she is just 

being a great girlfriend and mom, as every time she wants to venture out to 

have her needs met, she is confronted with need after need for everyone else 

but her self. 

Putting your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs first does not 

say that you’re selfish. It tells us that you care so much about your 

relationships and yourself that you are willing to authentically nurture your 

being—so that you can be the very best for you and us. 

Plan A Tip: Just like we schedule time for doctor’s appointments, client 

meetings and soccer games, it is imperative that you give yourself 

permission to carve out time on your calendar to fulfill your needs. 

Withstanding appointments. No exceptions.

Klay WilliamsComment