5 Reasons Why Sometimes it Really Needs to be All About You
Putting others before ourselves is a learned behavior, as we have become accustom
to believe, “Well, if I put their needs and wishes before my own, it’s a sign of
character, growth and sacrifice that is needed for the betterment of the unit.”
How many times have we fell hostage to this belief, only to find ourselves on the
other side of resentment and buried anger, after our sacrifice did not work out for
our personal well-being?
I find that this is a larger concern for my clientele that are working moms, wives,
and single women. For a greater portion of their lives, they watched their mothers
create a world of betterment for them at the expense of their personal emotional,
mental and spiritual health. Under the guise of maternal sacrifice, “…because, it’s
what us mom’s do…” they were taught.
You were taught.
In no way does this diminish or discredit the love we received and/or give, but
could there be a better method in preserving your individual personhood, while
allowing you to become an even better individual?
Sometimes, it really needs to be all about you because:
1.) We become better team players, when we learn how to become better
individuals. It’s an underutilized truth, that taking time to put your
emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well being above all creates a more
productive you – ultimately affecting the whole—while simultaneously
teaching you how to establish healthy boundaries with others.
2.) We become better teachers for others, especially our children. It’s not
too sexy nowadays to be individuals within the new generation that is rising
in groups, associations and crowds. When we are an example that takes pride
in nurturing our complete self, it often times gives others courage to do the
same. When we put our well-being first, our internal and physical light has a
stronger sense of being—deeply rooted in making sure that we are offering
our very best to ourselves—creating a domino effect of showcasing our best
intentions with others.
3.) We do not regret our decisions, later. Deciding to put our well-being first
creates responsibility. And, it’s responsibility that says, “I am responsible for
my life.” As a co-creator of our life, this understanding places us in a seat of
accountability and avoidance of blaming others for our choices.
4.) We are in a better position to fulfill our purpose. When we are in tuned
and fully committed to allowing our callings in life to be a first priority, not
only does it allow us to stay on track and true to our path, it also gives us a
true understanding that nothing—not a romantic relationship, children or
anything that we view as an “obstacle” prevents us from fulfilling our life’s
mission. Our relationships then, become gifts to cherish and appreciate.
5.) We do not fall prey in becoming a victim to our circumstance.
Classic story. Sarah takes care of her son while her boyfriend consistently
puts gym, drinks and bro time ahead of her personal devotions in practicing
yoga, getting that massage or attending the empowerment lecture that she’s
been dying to experience. The cycle continues. Sarah thinks that she is just
being a great girlfriend and mom, as every time she wants to venture out to
have her needs met, she is confronted with need after need for everyone else
but her self.
Putting your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs first does not
say that you’re selfish. It tells us that you care so much about your
relationships and yourself that you are willing to authentically nurture your
being—so that you can be the very best for you and us.
Plan A Tip: Just like we schedule time for doctor’s appointments, client
meetings and soccer games, it is imperative that you give yourself
permission to carve out time on your calendar to fulfill your needs.
Withstanding appointments. No exceptions.